yusukekitagawa | Entries tagged with steven

The low bass of the song flowed from his headphones and filled his ears. It was pounding. He was bouncing up and down, trying to calm himself. He let his hands raise up into the air, let them move freely to the beat. He still did not feel any calmer; the knots in his stomach and head were still there. He let his head shake and rock with the music. There was a bit of relief then, but it wasn’t enough. There was too much and yet not enough. He didn’t know what to do so he kept moving. Class was starting soon. He would have to leave his room and get to class, lest he be late. He would have to stop moving like this, and start moving like everyone else. He let gave himself until 10:30am. Class started at 12pm. It was 9:45am. This gave him plenty of time to prepare.

Turning the music up on his phone, Chris looked at what was on the lunch menu today. It definitely WASNT chicken parmesean like he planned for. Fuck, that’s on Wednesdays not Thursdays. Wait, was it Wednesday? Chris checked his phone. Wednesday. 11:15am. He still had time to sit down and eat. Sadly, it would not be the chicken parmesan. Chris really didn’t have the appetite for anything else. Maybe he’ll eat that later and just get some candy for now. He stepped briskly out of line and went to the nearest vending machine, spending at least 10$ on chocolate and skittles. He sat and ate while rocking his head slightly back and forth, careful not to get caught up in the motion.

11:35am. He had only eaten one candy bar; stomach was still in knots. He felt like he was going to explode. ‘Maybe i need to go back home,’ he thought. It never ended well when he felt like this. It wasn’t the hunger. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t anything. Chris just felt that familiar feeling of everything being wrong somehow. The usually comfy, fluffy sweater he wore on bad days was burning his skin. For some reason he thought it wise to wear socks, and he was paying for it. Chris felt as though his feet were covered in ants. The sleek, cotton leggings weren’t feeling much better either as he kept digging into his legs every few minutes to relieve the itching. Thankfully, Chris always had sunglasses in his backpack but they did little to help the feeling of “offness” he felt. He really couldn’t place what could be the issue. ‘One more song and I’ll be set.’ He picked his favorite song which, was the song he had been listening to since he left the house. Only this time he turned it up so loud that anyone sitting across from him could probably hear it.

Chris was sprintjng towards the lab where Lit was held. Fuck. Shit. 11:55am. He didn’t like being late to a class he actually enjoyed. Math? Biology? Intro to French Culture? He could be as late as he wanted. But he actually LIKED his literature class. They always had such fun discussions. The teacher was a little rude and her curriculum was childish and a bit too easy but he didn’t mind. So he really wanted to be there on time. 12:07pm. He was only slightly late when he came panting into the classroom. Most of class wasn’t there. Many had stopped showing up early as the weeks went by and some stopped coming at all. He took a seat towards the back and took his headphones off.

‘Ah, i really should have stayed home.’ Chris thought. Focusing on the lesson was near impossible. Someone had been chewing gum. It was the only thing he could hear. He ran his hands through his hair. He was hoping they’d swallow it and choke on it but throughout the lesson they kept on chewing. Another person had a cold and kept sniffling. ‘Why the fuck would you come to class with a cold just stay home SOME of us want to learn how dare you—‘ Chris’ mind was racing. His other hand twirled and tugged at his ponytail. The professor had said something about someone’s work but it was so hard to hear her over the sound of the pages of someone’s textbook turning. He’s going to miss the entire lecture at this point. All because these people don’t know how to sit quiet and listen. He was so upset. Why can’t everyone just sit still and list? Who chews that loudly? Are you a cow? Are you an idiot? When are you going to choke on it? Chris dug the hand without the ponytail into his leg. He knew he should probably leave but getting up was just as painful as staying seated. It took all of his concentration to get up and walk, almost sprinting to the nearest empty classroom. He sat on the floor and sighed deeply. He put his headphones back on and continued tugging at his ponytail. He didn’t want tk go back in there to get the rest of his things. ‘I can leave it. I have my wallet. Aaron can buy me more books.’

***

Chris left in such a hurry, that it was kind of shocking to Steven. The guy never left in the middle of class. Maybe he got a bad text? He DID look really angry when he came in. And everytime Steven glanced over at him he was wide eyed, in a daze. ‘Oh shit...maybe he’s high.’ Yeah that must be it. Steven’s had plenty of encounters with that sort of thing. One of his best friends was a pretty regular hippie type. When he was having a bad trip, Steven always had to help him through it. When the class ended and Chris Still hadn’t come back for his stuff, Steven decided to be a good samariten and bring it too him. Hey, this will make asking for tutoring much easier. Steven’s father always said that helping someone before you ask them for something is always guaranteed to make them agree!

With that in mind, Steven went in search of Chris. He couldn’t have left all his stuff behind in the building, right? If he did, it must have been one hell of a trip. After checking the building once over, he returns back to the lit classroom and stand outside the door, thinking. ‘Well, maybe he’ll come back for his stuff?’ Steven was considering just leaving it by the door when he saw Chris down the hall. Sighing with relief, Steven ran towards him with his stuff in had. “Chris! Dude! You left all your shit back there!” Chris had his headphones in and was looking at his phone.
“Chriiiiiiiissssss!!!” Chris nearly screamed as Steven pat him on the shoulder. There were tear streaks in his face. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Steven back up a little.
“Whoa, whoa dude you ok?” Chris nodded.
“Are you sure? You look like ass—“
“My stuff.” Chris pointed at his bookbag in Steven’s hand.
“Oh yeah dude, no yeah here,” he handed it to Chris. “Dude if you’re like. Having a bad trip i know how to handle those my friend used to—“ Chris was already walking away. He didn’t say thank you or anything. Steven was so confused all he could was stare as Chris slowly walked down the hall. ‘I guess he’s just having a really bad day.’ Steven thought as he scrateched his head.

Chris did not come to class for a day or two. When he finally returned, he was his normal, assholish self. Steven almost sort of missed the quiet, doe eyed boy from the other day. But, after class he sucked it up and went up to Chris before he could corner a poor student into a debate about today’s lecture.
“Hey Chris! Can I talk to you for a sec?” Chris rolled his eyes and sat on a desk.
“Yes?.”
“Ok so this is really embarrassing but—“
“I’m not into red heads.”
“What.”
“I don’t like red heads. Sorry.” Steven shook his head, ignoring the comment.
“Can you tutor me?”
“No.”
“Aw thanks man— wait why?” Chris crossed his legs and looked up at Steven, his brow furrowed.
“Just because.”
“That is NOT a valid answer.” Chris crossed his arms.
“I don’t care.”
“Even if I’m willing to pay you?”
“Psshhh. Depends on how much. And even if you DID pay me, i doubt you could afford me.” He said with a smirk as he got off the table. He sauntered over to the door and wave in an overly cheery way. Steven was fuming. What the HELL was up with this guy?

“So, what’s the deal with that blue haired chick?”
Steven looked over Johnny from his textbook,
“I have no idea but i keep hearing some crazy shit about her...”
Eric thought a moment.
“Guys i uh. I don’t think that’s a girl?”

That’s all anyone was talking about. The mysterious blue haired elven freshman. For such a big campus, the word of their exploits traveled fast. The issue was seperating the truth from the rumors, and nobody seemed to know which was which.

Steven scoffed, “Oh come on, you really think Professor Smith would really let a DUDE go down on him? During office hours?”
“Hey man, i dunno...something just. I dunno how to put it! That face is way too...That aint no girl, ok?”
Johnny swatted Eric on the back, rather hard.
“You’re just mad she didn’t suck your dick. I hear if you ask her she’ll do it!”
“I thought she only slept with rich guys?” Eric said, massaging his back.
“Oh! Then i guess Steven’s got much more of a chance than we do!”

All three boys laughed. Campus wide stories of infamous students came and went. No one really took them too seriously. A beautiful elf that slept around with teachers? Just another day. These stories may mot have had any truth to them, but they were fun to talk about. And Steven was mildly curious about her. He had only caught a glimpse or two of her. She had enrolled during his second semester of freshman year.

The topic of the elf came and went, with Steven only remembering her when he saw her walking in and out of the fine arts section of campus. ‘Must be a painter,’ he thought. He had all but forgotten about her until he had to retake his literature class the following year.

“Oh what a pleasure to have you, Mr. Cartwright,” the professor said dryly as Steven walked into class. With a sausage biscuit in hand, he went to his old seat by the window and opened sat his textbook down on the desk. The professor rolled her eyes as Steven tried to look as interested as possible. About 30minutes in, he decided he just could not take listening to the lecture about Charles Dickens a second time so he pulled out his phone. The 2 hour class came and went. Steven learnt a lot from Wikipedia about infectious diseases, but nothing about Mr. Dickens’ works. Getting up to leave he noticed someone he never thought he’d see. Talking to the professor was the blue haired elf. She was talking loudly about...well Steven didn’t know. It wasn’t that she was talking fast; in fact she talked a bit slower than most. She just kept going. Like she didn’t know how to end a sentence. As he was walking to the door he caught a snippet—

“—and really i think it’st silly but why on earth are we learning about suh a trivial story? I mean this kind of thing was taught to toddlers so why should we sit here SUFFERING through such boring, bland, HORRENDOUS—“

Steven thought the professor wanted to say something but she just kept going and going and going. Everytime the professor opened her mouth she was interrupted. Steven could only stand there staring; it was hilarious. Was the elven girl turning red? Was she that upset about the lesson? Unreal. The professor finally cut her off with a, “YOU will have to talk to me during office hours!” And practically fled the classroom. The elf stood there staring at the door. She scoffed.

“Well how rude!” She said loudly. “She shouldn’t even be teaching with such an attitude towards her—“ the elf finally noticed Steven chuckling and crossed her arms.

“Well, what’s YOUR issue?” Steven stopped laughing and leaned on the door frame.
“Wow, I’m sorry it’s just—“
“You shouldn’t eavesdrop.”
Steven looked at her, eyes wide and smiling, a little taken aback but amused.
“I wouldn’t call that eavesdropping i was right here the entire time-“
“You were not! I would have seen you.” The elf folded her arms and scowled at him.
“Ok, ok, i apologize for my alleged eavesdropping.” Steven said, holding back laughter. Was she...serious? She rolled her eyes, “Get out of my way, some of us actually have places to be.” And with that. She was gone.

The elf’s (who Steven eventually learnt was named Christian. NOT a girl.) arguing with the professor seemed to be a common thing. During almost every lecture Christian would lead the class in long, seemingly pointless debates about god only knows what. It was so confusing to keep track of; even the professor didn’t engage him half of the time. This was definitely the most entertaining class of the semester, but this did not help Steven’s already abysmal grade in the class. He did NOT want to take this a third time, crazy elf or not. He sucked up his pride and went to the professor about tutoring. ‘Who the hell needs a tutor for literature,’ he sulked. Apparently he did. There was something about old books he just did not get. All his analysis and essays were terrible. Probably had something to do with his English and Writing grades also being embarrassing. As his mother would say, he was a speaker, not a writer.

“If you need help, perhaps one of your peers can help you?”
Steven scratched his head.
“Uh, yeah i guess...anyone you suggest? I don’t really...talk to anyone in this class.”
The professor thought for a moment.
“I know this may sound crazy but, you would not believe how high that Solace kid’s grades are.”
“Who?”
“Christian.”
Steven audibly sighed. The professor laughed.
“I know! You would think the guy’s got horrible grades with how little he pays attention but he’s an excellent writter. His...interpretation of the material is always well...INTERESTING to say the least but it’s always so well thought out and eloquent that i..usually can’t mark him down.”

Steven really, really didn’t want to ask for help from Christian. Sure, at first he seemed like a weirdo who may be fun once you get to know him. But after being in clas with him? This guy seemed like a pretentious, know it all asshole. But. Steven DID need some serious help. This was a bad idea, but it would at least be entertaining. If it failed, Steven would just find someone else. After all, college is about having fun, right?

“Aah-!”
Steven sighed in pleasure as he flopped on to the bed. Chris followed suit as he also collapsed onto Steven’s chest. The young man’s breathing slowed, and he seemed to be drifting off to sleep. Steven, not used to such stillness from chris, panicked a little. “I-i wonder if he’s ok…?” He almost went to shake him a bit but a small sigh stopped him. Steven calmed a bit. He realized how silly it was to panic. Chris probably just fell asleep, which should have seemed obvious. Usually, after they had sex, Chris was quick to get dressed and out of the bed, never having time to cuddle. Although Steven has noticed that he’s been going to put his clothes on alot slower than when they first started...whatever this was.
“Maybe he’s just tired…” Chris had told him that he had a rough week.

“Ugh!!” He would say as he scowled, looking away from Steven.
“He said we were going on a shopping trip since i always,” chris mimicked aaron’s disgustingly enthusiastic voice, “‘Oh SO picky about your clothing, my wittle pet!’ Ugh! It was hardly a shopping trip! The worst!” Chris was actually turning a bit red in the face; he was honestly getting angry. Steven would ask him what happened and if he could help but all chris would do is frown pout. “Hmph!” He would stomp his foot at each attempt to get more info out of him. When Steven finally gave up, Chris had turned to him and hugged him around the waist. He stood on his tippy toes and pecked Steven right on the lips.
“Well, maybe you can help me out,” he’d say, running a finger down his chest. “Im so tense! Help me relax?” And that, as they say, was that.

Of course Steven didn’t mind helping Chris “relax.” It was better than his usual method of de-stressing ing, which often times involved copious amounts some illegal substance. So Steven let chris lay there. He had actually never been so..close to chris, especially with him so still like this. Any attempts Steven made at cuddling or snuggling always lead to chris trying to fuck him. “It’s like the kid doesn’t know what the purpose of cuddling is!” Steven thought. Or, he used to think until he got a bit of a vague explanation.

At some point, chris had been lying next to Steven, similar to how he was today: calm and still. Steven thought this a perfect opportunity to reach out and kiss him. He looked so peaceful, laying there with his eyes half open. He had a slight smile playing on his face. When Steven went in for a peck, however, Chris recoiled. He looked confused and scooted a bit from Steven. His eyes were no longer half open, but staring wide at Steven.
“Did i do something wrong?” Steven asked quietly. He had to make a habit of asking when Chris seemed on edge, as the boy was a bit unstable and could be quite self destructive when he felt threatened.
“No, you didn’t. I just want to lay here.” He didn’t sound mad, but his face. He almost looked offended. Almost.
“Yes, so do i.”
“Then let me lay here.” He pulled the covers up around his head and turned around. This of course made little sense to Steven. After giving the situation some thoughf, he came to the conclusion that Chris had some sort of weird relationship with cuddling. Maybe it didn’t mean what it meant to Steven. Maybe little gestures like a small kiss in bed or holding hands meant completely different things to the two of them. Whatever the case, Steven did not try to cuddle with Chris.

In that moment, Steven really was tempted to run his fingers through chris’s thick curly hair. To put his arm around him, to let his hand gently explore his small frame. But he didn’t want to startle chris, especially if he were asleep. He settled for laying there, and letting chris lay there. He relaxed and examined him. He never realized the roots of his hair were also blue...green? What color was that? How did Chris dye his hair so closely? Today chris had his hair out as opposed to his usual ponytail. It was ruffled and messy, as it always ends up after their time together. Looking closely, he saw just how thick it was! How did he manage to get a comb through it? He wanted so badly to touch it and play with it, but resisted the urge.

He instead turned his attention chris’s skin. Steven always noticed how pale it was, and it made sense. Vampires have pale skin, that’s basic knowledge. But he never really took the time to look at how odd it really was. Chris’s skin was pale yes, but also...there was a weird slightly yellowish undertone to it. Maybe not yellow...golden? Like he had tried to tan but it didn’t quite work out. His veins were clearly visible. With Chris laying on his chest like this, Steven had ample time to feel how soft it was. With each long breath he took, Steven could feel chris’s soft skin against his; a very pleasant feeling indeed. He wanted to trace little circles on Chris’s back just to feel the skin on his fingertips, but again he resisted the urge.

As Chris lay there, it seemed as though his breathing was gradually getting slower. This had worries Steven a bit until he remembered that vampires usually breath slowly anyways. But he never noticed just HOW slowly! Steven counted about 15 seconds in between each breath. Was this normal? He listened carefully for Chris’s heartbeat; it too was incredibly slow compared to his own heart. He moved his head a bit to the side, carefull to not rouse chris. He wanted to see if chris was even still awake, or alive for that matter. Chris’s eyes were closed, his lips parted in a serene smile. W-was he sleep? Steven had never seen chris look so peaceful, it was kind of scary for a moment. Another slow breath from chris, however made all hsi fear go away. Yeah, he was probably just sleep. He couldn’t help but thinkjist how sweet chris looked. He wanted so badly to lean in and kiss him, but of course he knew better. Instead he thought it better if he just got up and let chris sleep. He wiggled a bit...and a bit more...trying to get from under chris without waking him. He kept wiggling for a a another minute until chris’s head rose slowly. He looked a bit annoyed.
“Can you...maybe...stop moving!!” It wasn’t a question, he said it quietly, obviously irritated.
“What…? I thought you were sleep!” Chris rubbed his eyes lay his hands on Steven’s chest.
“No? I’m not even sleepy. I’m just laying here and you’re making that impossible with all your fidgeting!” Steven and chris stared at each other for second, chris lightly running his hands over Steven’s chest.
“So you just...you’re just laying there...pretending to be asleep?”
“I’m not pretending! It’s pretty obvious that I wasn’t sleep. You’re just weird.” Steven couldn’t help but start laughing.
“Me? I’m the weird one?” He was still laughing. Chris couldn’t tell what was so funny about anything that just happened and waited for Steven to stop laughing. Seeing chris’s blank face only made Steven want to laugh more, but he held it in.
“Oh my god chris...you’re so… god.”
“Whaaaat? Weird?”
“A bit, yeah.” Steven chuckled. Chris sat up on Steven and folded his arms. He pouted.
“Hmph! Well! I say you’re the weird one here! I mean, your heart keeps decreasing and increasing, it was making me dizzy! It took all of my self restraint to not start laughing!” Steven sat up so he could be level with chris.
“Oh yeah? You thought that was funny?” Steven laughed.
“Is that why you were fake sleeping, to listen to my heart? Chris, that sounds like something a pervert would do!” He laughed at how pink chris’s cheeks turned.
“Shut up and lay back down! Ugh! You are so annoying!” Steven lay back onto the bed and looked up at chris, it was obvious he didn’t really mean what he said. Steven smiled. Chris rolled his eyes and settled back onto his spot on Steven’s chest.
“Don’t start all that moving again, ok? I’m trying to relax.”
“Ooooh, you relax by laying on some strange guys chest? Listening to his heartbeat? I don’t know chris that sounds like an oddly specific fetish you got there.”
“Oh stop talking, you idiot. Besides, you’re hardly a stranger. Right?” Steven was taken aback by how sincere chris asked that question. Chris didn’t look up, Be Steven could tell he was embarrassed by what he said. His ears were turning pink.
“Ha, you’re right. I’m not a stranger anymore. We’re more like…”
“Friends, right?”
“Ah, yeah. We’re more like friends.”
This time, chris really did fall asleep, and so did Steven.